take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
