we have officially lost it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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