I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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