Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
