I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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