She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
