I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
