I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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