You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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