if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
