He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
