i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
