Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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