I'm drive I can fine osifer
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
