real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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