She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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