I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
