The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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