Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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