no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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