I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
