the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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