You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
