omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
