Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
