We're like a lot better than the average bears
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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