never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
