I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
