so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
