Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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