My friends, they love my intelligence
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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