Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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