her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
