your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
