you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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