is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
