she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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