We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
