Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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