just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
A+ Viking dick
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
