Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
