theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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