I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So many bounce houses so little time
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
