i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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