I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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