a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
we're so committed to being not committed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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