I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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