I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
