Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
