You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
