I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
