It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
